bitterness

"and she was in bitterness of soul, and prayed to the Lord, and wept bitterly." 1 samuel 1:10

i'm not exactly weeping, but i am definitely experiencing this "bitterness of soul" that is discussed here in 1 samuel.

the story that this comes from in the Bible, is of hannah praying to God for a son. while i'm currently feeling content with waiting for a baby, i'm also feeling overwhelmed with sadness today. i know part of it is wanting a baby, but it's not all of it. i don't really even know how to explain what is wrong.

i also really have to stop obsessing about when i am going to ovulate, or if i am going to ovulate. i am worried that my last cycle really screwed me up. i need to chill out about it.

i miss my family. i don't feel at home in this condo. it feels too small and too awkward.

i'm going to a girls' night in, and hopefully that will get me out of this funk. i'm going to be ok. just need to chill.......